October 2008


A local restaurant was so sure its massive Sumo chef was the strongest man around, they had a standing $1,000.00 offer that the chef would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass and then hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze just one more drop of juice out of the lemon would walk away with the money. Many people had tried, including weight lifters and longshoremen, but nobody could do it.

 

One day a scrawny little man wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit came in and said in a tiny squeaky voice, “I’d like to try it”. After the laughter had died down the chef said ,”OK”. He grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. The crowd’s laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and one by one 6 drops fell into the glass.

 

As the crowd erupted into cheering, the chef paid the $1,000.00 and asked, “What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a builder’s laborer or what?”

 

He adjusted his glasses on his nose and said, “I work for the Tax Department”.

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How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
How much money do you have?

Man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Tells the shepherd, “I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock.” The shepherd thinks it over, it’s a big flock so he takes the bet. “973” says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. Says “OK, I am a man of my word, take an animal.” Man picks one up and begins to walk away. “Wait,” cries the shepherd, “Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation.” Man says sure. “You are an accountant with a Big Six firm,” says the shepherd. “Amazing!” responds the man, “You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that? “Well,” says the shepherd, “put down my dog and I will tell you.”