A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Want to hear an accountant joke?”The guy next to him replies, “Well, before you tell that joke, you should know that Im 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, and Im an accountant. And the guy sitting next to me is 62” tall, 225 pounds, and hes an accountant. Now, do you still want to tell that joke?”The first guy says, “No, I dont want to have to explain it two times.”

Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets the wounded.

prison

Here are the top 10 responses.

  1. To open a consulting practice.
  2. What else does an accountant do for fun?
  3. To count the chickens.
  4. Because the lawyers were on the first side.
  5. It was April 15th and the bar was on the other side.
  6. So he could charge the client for travel expenses.
  7. The client told him to.
  8. Because that’s what was done in the prior year.
  9. To bore the people on the other side.
  10. Because he just broke GAAS on the first side.

An auditor is hard at work, auditing an airline. The auditor cannot understand an excess fuel consumption on a Detroit to Erie route, for flight no. 420. The auditor calls the pilot and demands an explanation. The pilot replies “It was a late night, snow storm was raging, and I lost my bearings.” The auditor demands a statement, “for what?” the pilot asks. The auditor tells him “for lost bearings.”