Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets the wounded.

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Here are the top 10 responses.

  1. To open a consulting practice.
  2. What else does an accountant do for fun?
  3. To count the chickens.
  4. Because the lawyers were on the first side.
  5. It was April 15th and the bar was on the other side.
  6. So he could charge the client for travel expenses.
  7. The client told him to.
  8. Because that’s what was done in the prior year.
  9. To bore the people on the other side.
  10. Because he just broke GAAS on the first side.

The auditors have taken an inventory of thermometers held in a warehouse, in summer. The thermometers will be exported out of the country in January, and are kept under lock and key. In December, auditors ask management to redo the inventory count. The management is surprised “Why? Nothing has changed.” Auditors tell them “The inventory is overstated, in summer there is more mercury in the thermometers.”

An auditor is hard at work, auditing an airline. The auditor cannot understand an excess fuel consumption on a Detroit to Erie route, for flight no. 420. The auditor calls the pilot and demands an explanation. The pilot replies “It was a late night, snow storm was raging, and I lost my bearings.” The auditor demands a statement, “for what?” the pilot asks. The auditor tells him “for lost bearings.”

An auditor is hard at work auditing a manufacturing plant.  He spots one worker at the end of the shift, that worker is always carrying a wheelbarrow covered with an opaque cloth.  The auditor is certain something is fishy.   He asks the security to check the wheelbarrow.  Many surprise checks, security finds nothing.  On the last day of the audit the auditor goes to the worker and asks, “Alright, I give up.  I know you are taking something.  I cannot prove it .   I do not want to pursue it.  I just want to know.  What are you stealing?”  The worker replies, “Wheelbarrows.”