Unused Organ

The doctor comes to see his heart transplant patient. “This is good news. It is very unusual, but we have two donors to choose from for your new heart.” The patient is pleased. He asks, “What were their jobs?” “One was a teacher and the other was an accountant.” “I ll take the accountant’s heart,” says the patient. “I want one that hasn’t been used.”

 

Playing Accountant

Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant…even if he wanted to be one?”

 

No Yet

Wife to husband as they watch their young son playing: “He’s such a sensitive child. Let’s wait until he’s older before we tell him you re an accountant.”

 

An Accountant’s Heart

A fellow is walking into a hospital and sees two doctors down on their hands and knees in one of the flower beds. He goes over and says, “Can I help? Have you lost something?” “No,” says one of the doctors. “We’re about to do a heart transplant on an accountant and we’re looking for a suitable stone.”

 

Charging the Clients

An accountant dies and goes to Heaven. He is met by St Peter who goes through the usual questionnaire.

 

“What sort of accountant are you?” says St Peter

 

“Public Practitioner,” is the reply.

 

“Name?”

 

He gives his name. St Peter goes through some files and pulls one out.

 

“Oh, yes. We’ve been expecting you. You’ve reached your allotted span,” says St Peter.

 

“How can that be?” says the accountant. “I’m too young to go. I’m only forty-eight”

 

“No, that’s impossible. ”

 

“Why do you say that?”

 

“Well we’ve been looking at your time sheets and the hours you’ve charged your clients. By our reckoning you’re at least ninety three.”